I am stronger than infertility

With this week being Infertility Awareness, my thoughts often return to what Hailame and I have experienced first handed with infertility for so long.

It’s amazing that in the moment of a trial, it feels like that trial is going to last forever, and there were some days that I truly did believe that.

But looking back I’ve learned that I am stronger than I give myself credit.

I fully believe that God blessed me with the ability to have patience and a vast amount of faith to help me take on the hard days we experienced in 2018.

There were multiple days when I thought for sure I was going to give up, but in those moments I always felt peace. Peace that life is still wonderful despite that hard moments. Peace that those hard moments would soon pass, and they always did.

I had many instances where loved ones and friends didn’t fully understand what we were going through and they would state opinions blindly, not knowing the heartache we were feeling, and in those moments, I forgave without question.

I quickly learned that not everyone was going to fully understand what we were going through, and that was okay. I grew a community of support that held me through moments of not wanting to be told what to do, but just listen when I needed it.

But my biggest strength was that of faith. I KNEW WITHOUT A DOUBT and had so much FAITH that everything was going to work out.

And everything has worked out. Our life may not have turned out the way we planned or expected, but in my opinion it has turned out better than I could have possibly imagined. Our experience with adoption was EXACTLY what we needed, and I’m thankful that we get to grow our family in such a unique way!

Our time with infertility has opened our eyes to be more understanding and less judgmental. I know that there are so many couples who are still trying to find their path through infertility, and this week, more than any, my thoughts and prayers have been with them.

Infertility is still very much apart of our life, but it doesn’t define us. If anything, we have allowed it to shaped us for the better and to bring out the best in us.

love, hannah jane

We love you already

Dear future baby,

I know we haven’t met, but that’s okay, we love you already.

We love that you are going to be an answer to the endless prayers we been saying for a long time.

We love your birth Mother who will entrust you to be ours.

We love that you will be brought into a family with loving grandparents, and MANY aunts, uncles and cousins.

We love the newborn smell you’ll have for the first little while of your newborn life.

We love the sleepless nights we’ll have with you as you learn to sleep through the night.

We love the extra the bag of “just in case”  and “always be prepared” items we’ll carry around regularly just to make sure you are well taken care of.

We love that you will most likely be dressed better than we ever will because it’s way more fun to dress up babies than ourselves.

We love the accidental smiles that will eventually turn into real smiles

We love that our Instagram and Facebook posts will mainly consist of you and the genius baby you are as you successfully eat peas for the time or sit up on your own.

We love the “first time” moments we’ll be able to create with you.

We love that we get to be your parents.

We know that it may take some time to find you, but that’s okay.

We love you already.

See you soon.

Love, your parents