We love you already

Dear future baby,

I know we haven’t met, but that’s okay, we love you already.

We love that you are going to be an answer to the endless prayers we been saying for a long time.

We love your birth Mother who will entrust you to be ours.

We love that you will be brought into a family with loving grandparents, and MANY aunts, uncles and cousins.

We love the newborn smell you’ll have for the first little while of your newborn life.

We love the sleepless nights we’ll have with you as you learn to sleep through the night.

We love the extra the bag of “just in case”  and “always be prepared” items we’ll carry around regularly just to make sure you are well taken care of.

We love that you will most likely be dressed better than we ever will because it’s way more fun to dress up babies than ourselves.

We love the accidental smiles that will eventually turn into real smiles

We love that our Instagram and Facebook posts will mainly consist of you and the genius baby you are as you successfully eat peas for the time or sit up on your own.

We love the “first time” moments we’ll be able to create with you.

We love that we get to be your parents.

We know that it may take some time to find you, but that’s okay.

We love you already.

See you soon.

Love, your parents


our GRAND new adventure

We are excited to announce that we will be starting a GRAND adventure!

Ironically, it has nothing to do with the Grand Canyon, but everything sounds so much more exciting when you say that it’s GRAND!

But we do love the Grand Canyon, and go there often!

Anyway… scroll down to see our exciting news!


We have decided to build our family through the beautiful opportunity of adoption!

Once we decided that this is the answer to our prayers, everything has felt right.  This is the first time in a long time that I am fully at peace, and confident that this is the road for Hailame and me.

This is unique experience that we are eager to be apart of, and I have already started to pray for the amazing birth Mother and sweet Miracle Baby that we are excited to find and make part of our family!20180714_164744_Film4

More updates coming soon!

love, hannah jane

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

…especially with Infertility.

“Just relax, you’ll be pregnant before you know it.”

“Have you tried losing weight, I got pregnant after losing a few pounds.”

“Maybe you should consider using clomid, that works miracles.”

“Start eating more of (fill in the blank), and less of (fill in the blank).”

“Consider yourself lucky for not having kids yet, and just enjoy being the two of you.”

“Find a hobby to keep you busy, so you don’t think about getting pregnant.”

“You can down load the ovulation tracker, that will determine when you will most like get pregnant, it worked for us.”

“You’re young, don’t worry about getting pregnant.”

The advice list goes on and on!

If I had a dollar for every piece of advice I’ve received regarding my Infertility Journey, I would be able to pay for all my Infertility Treatments :)!

Now I don’t want it to seem that I’m not thankful for those who care about me and want to provide help, because I really do appreciate them.  

What’s hard for me is that if I’m not careful, I will compare myself when their advice is successful for them, and not for me.


One of my best friends who has PCOS was able to get pregnant off of clomid, and they have the most beautiful baby girl.

My sister-in-law, who has been a great listening ear for me, said that they got pregnant when they relaxed and stopping worrying about it.

I’ve read countless weight loss success stories of women losing weight and falling pregnant shortly after.

I’m happy for women who struggle with getting pregnant and are able to find their answer to getting pregnant, even if I am sad it isn’t my turn.

I have to keep reminding myself that infertility has millions of different scenarios, and there isn’t one type of an infertile woman.

My infertility journey is unique to me, and me only.


I know I’ve said it before, and I’m going to keep saying it as a reminder to myself, but I’m thankful for this journey I’m going through.  It was far from the journey I saw myself going on when I first got married, but I’ve seen a change in what I’m thankful for, what I’m capable of, and what matters most.

I’m thankful for my husband who continues to bring positive vibes and extreme happiness into my life and everywhere he goes, I don’t know what I would do without him!

Happy Monday!

love, hannah jane

Need a little boost today?  Enjoy this message, “Value beyond Measure,” by Joy D. Jones





Baby Making Journey Update

I can’t believe how quickly this year is flying by…It’s already May!!!  And May is practically over.  One good thing about this year flying by is that we are getting closer to having our next appointment to find out what our next step will be in this Baby Making Journey.

The last few months have been good for us.  It was motivating having something to work towards.  The Infertility Specialist placed us on special medications to get us “baby healthy ready,” and we have been so dedicated at staying on top of these medications, taking them faithfully.

One part of this time that has been a highlight for me is working together to get healthier.  Hailame and I are eating better and exercising together regularly :)… at 5:00am 😦  but we’ve learned it’s the only time we can really dedicate to going to exercise, because when we both come home from work in the afternoon, neither of us wants to go to the gym, we just want to stay home.

So every morning at 4:30 am, my alarm goes off, and at 4:31 (why one minute after mine, I have no idea) Hailame’s alarm goes off… but he rarely hears it so I end of turning off both of our alarms.

I have to really work to wake Hailame up, he is the deepest sleeper, but the minute he is up, he is the biggest morning person in the world (and really chatty), compared to me where I will wake up, but that is all.  I don’t want to talk, or interact with a lot of people.. give me about 30 minutes, then I may acknowledge your presence. Hailame has learned when he talks to me in the morning, he may or may not get a response, and if he does, it is short and to the point, and then back to silence for me.  🙂

But having Hailame and I go to the gym together has been perfect because I don’t think I would make it over there if I didn’t have his perky energy getting us out the door in the morning!

We are eager and ready to find out what our next step will be in this journey.  We were told three months ago that the usual process is first trying to get pregnant on our own, using clomid.  If that doesn’t work for us, we will do an IUI, then have IVF as our final option.

I’m praying that we are able to get pregnant on our own, obviously because that would save money and time, however at this point, I am willing to do anything!


Happy Tuesday!

love, hannah jane